1. NEW POST: "She Carries the World" by Eva Jewell

    Loretta’s case has opened the eyes of Canadians to say this could have been my daughter. And it can very well be your daughter, but the sad fact is it’s mostly likely our daughter.”
    –Cheryl Maloney

    She Carries the World

    1.
    I’m stepping up stairs and can hear behind me.
    Quicken pace with eyes watching and jaw clenched
    Going over the stats, numbers swirling
    Enough breath, for now
    Searing jolts of adrenaline rushing through my muscles, bebiinhs kicking in my womb
    Is this going to make her anxious?
    Going over stats, over stats, stats
    5x more stress
    5x more worry
    5x more fear
    5x more likely
    Is this going to make her anxious?

    2.
    At times hope feels like restrained panic

    3.
    The voice on the news, whether sterilized or trembling, delivers the same blow to a nation; whispers or stark declarations pointing out violence hurt all the same.

    4.
    look at n’daanis in the rearview mirror,
    her eyes on the sky
    small mouth singing big love about Nokomis, moon
    When do I inform her?
    Her Heart is Good

    5.
    Naajwi kwezehns she’s a birdie in the tree husha husha husha hush
    Naajwi kwezehns she’s a fishie in the sea husha husha husha hush
    Where’d that girl go now?
    Naajwi kwezehns she’s a bear inside a den husha husha husha hush
    Naajwi kwezehns she’s an otter in the water husha husha husha hush
    Where’d that girl go now?
    Pretty little girl close your eyes and go to sleep husha husha husha hush
    In your dreams you can be anything you wanna be husha husha husha hush
    Where’d that girl go now?
    Far away. Far awaaaay, heyee yeyee yeyee Far. Away.

    1.1
    When I was in graduate school I was pregnant with my daughter. We would have discussions on colonial violence: the resonating effects within our lives that were tangible and experienced daily. The cause of the cause. After class I walked home alone reflecting, as I always did, about indigeneity and colonization—pervasively the violence had made its way throughout my family, community, and nation.
    A young man followed me for a while. There should be no reason for the reaction I had. Yet the stress I put into my body with the fear that because so many of our sisters are gone, that so much precedence stacks the deck; I grew sick with anxiety that day, and as long as I am a mother and there are continued cases of #MMIW, it won’t be the last time.

    2.1
    It’s been said that at each human’s essence there is an intelligent, loving, co-operative, energetic person—the conditions of colonialism & injustice causing distortions to each center*.

    3.1
    Missing, murdered, suicide; violence for indigenous women is normalized, our bodies bearing the cost of colonial consequence

    4.1
    Never forget that with each missing or murdered indigenous woman it took at least 1 to give birth to her; and countless other mothers, sisters, cousins, aunties, grandmas to love her, raise her up.

    5.1
    As long as the waters flow is a metaphor for the fluid mother carries at birth—its release means the new life to come, its context meaning as long as women bear children –in addition to our earth mother’s own life-giving waterways

    In my community speakers have translated mdimooyenh as she carries the world with her meaning a woman with white hair carries a world of knowledge, and potentially several generations

    That is power; undermined and violated through the colonial project.


    * I credit this to Dr. Lee Brown (Tsalagi), who has visited our community and generously shared his kind teachings.

    Eva Jewell is Anishinaabekwe from Deshkaan Ziibing, where she also works and resides. She is a Doctor of Social Sciences student at Royal Roads University. Follow her on Twitter: @odayminan

     
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